11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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