just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize