I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
