I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish you could order shots online.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
