Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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