I heard we made out
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
