Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
