I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
