Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
