my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
