My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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