your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
