My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
