No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
