guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
