you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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