I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think i have herpe
just one?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
