at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This is the high leading the old right now
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Gay?
German.
Pity.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
