I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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