At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize