UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm just crazy horny about you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
