Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
