if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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