He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
