I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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