I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you will always have a special place in my vag
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
