sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
