didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
