Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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