guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize