Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
