Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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