I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
