I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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