Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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