I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think people are normalizing furries
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