Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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