It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
