I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
