is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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