part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
