So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
