I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
