She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
