Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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