He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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