And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
