we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize