its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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