I accidentally had phone sex last night
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
