therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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