Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
