So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We're too hungover to prance.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
