yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
