I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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