I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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