So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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