I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
